Waiting in The Wings
by TwilightObSeSiVe
Summary: This is a story for those of you who believe that if Bella had chosen Jacob, everything would have been ruined.
1. Heartbreak

As my tears poured down, I felt a sharp pang of pity for Leah. Leah Clearwater who had to look at Sam everyday, knowing what they could have had, what had been destroyed by werewolf instincts. Now I knew exactly how she felt. But I still felt some understanding for Jacob. My mind spat his name as if it were a disgusting, repulsive thing. After all I had given up for him, he had just thrown me away like an old wrapper. How could he do that? _It isn't his fault he imprinted_, the sensible part of my mind told me. _SHUT UP!_ I wanted to yell at it. As if I wasn't in enough pain without my mind reminding me how ridiculous I was being.

I remembered exactly what I had given up for him, for everyone. Edward. Edward the vampire with liquid topaz eyes, who had loved me so much. I loved him too. I wondered how that would have played out, and my mind immediately conjured a long forgotten image. An image of me, strong, beautiful, and desperately pale. I shook my head. That wasn't happening anymore. I let my mind wander, allowing myself to consider the things I hadn't considered in a very long time. Like how much I had cried when I had decided to stay human, to stay with my family and friends. I had cried for days, and afterwards cried myself to sleep every night for months. There had been no cool hand to sooth me.

It had been so sad to say good-bye to Alice and Esme, Carlisle and Emmett. Rosalie had been overjoyed to learn I would stay human, but the fact that it would not be with her brother had dampened her spirits. Even Jasper had been sad to see me go, when we had never been very close. The worst was Edward though. He had gone through it all with a brave face, but for the briefest moment when I had glanced at him I had seen the unmasked hurt in his eyes, and I had almost decided to stay. But then I had reminded myself why I was doing this. Not for me, but for my family. I had no right to simply cut them out of my life like that. But at night the look haunted me, as it did now. It all seemed like such a waste now. I had never regretted my decision, but now I suddenly wished I had chosen the other path.

I suddenly couldn't get the image of what had caused me to hide out of my brain. We were in Emily's living room, eating and talking like we did most days. I'd decided to go to college with Angela instead. Emily's cousin had been coming to visit. I barely spared her a glance when she walked in, immersed as I was in my conversation with Jacob. Suddenly, Jacob stopped talking, and I noticed he was staring at Emily's cousin. Sam was the first to realize what had happened, and he took immediate action. He waved Emily over but Leah was already at my side offering to drive me home. Had what I just thought happened really happened? I was confused, but I let them drive me home. On the way they explained to me, Emily and Leah, and told me it would be better for me if I didn't go back to see Jacob. I went from shocked to angry to sad and no I was back at angry. I wished I hadn't chosen to make everybody else happy, and keep myself only marginally happy compared to how I could be.

Would Charlie and Renee really have been so angry if they had known that I had chosen to become a vampire? I wondered. Not that I would have told them, but I'd imagined how they would react if I had. _Sigh._ Charlie would be coming home soon. I'd have to leave my place of comfort. Ridiculously, I was curled up in a ball at the bottom of my closet. I knew it was childish, but I couldn't think of a better place to think without interruption.

"Would it be childish of me to hide in your closet?" I closed my eyes. The clearness of the memory was amazing. His voice, so perfect, none of my other memories had done it justice. Perhaps I was having a relapse into an old mental state. I hoped not. That was one part of my life I never wished to revisit. It took me a moment, but I finally realized that the memory had said something different, something more.

_Would it be childish of me to hide in your closet… with you?_ I peeked through my eyelids. " Or would it simply be uncomfortable?" his voice was slightly mocking, but underneath I could feel the hope, the need.

"Edward," I whispered, and there he was in all his glory. So beautiful it hurt my eyes. "Oh, Edward!" I sighed, and leapt into his awaiting arms.


	2. Picking it Up

It was strange but… somehow it wasn't awkward.

I mean sure I wasn't sure how we were going to proceed, whether we continued where we left off or took it slower, we hadn't decided. But we had a kind of unspoken agreement that we _were _going to be together, no matter what others thought.

Edward chuckled so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

"What?" I asked, looking around us to see if I could locate the source of his laughter. We were in the meadow. It seemed the only place appropriate after all we'd been through. The sun was just poking through the clouds at random intervals, lighting it up in all of its glory and then covering it with a dark cloth, like a theatre stage.

"Your musings are very interesting. It's nice when I can finally know what you're thinking." He smiled down at me. I blushed deeply, and blushed even more when I realized what he had heard.

I was lying in his lap. We were in the middle of the meadow, doing nothing but sitting there chatting one moment and silent the next; with Edward all the while stroking my hair. The scene had an unrealistic feel to it, and the sun reflecting off of Edward didn't help things.

Now came a moment of silence. As I got lost in my musings again, I had a sudden thought. Wow. There was something about Emily's family that was irresistible to werewolves. I burst out laughing.

Edward stared down at me in confusion over my sudden outburst. I explained my revelation to him and he laughed along with me. We chatted amicably over random things.

I finally got up the guts to ask him the question that had been bothering me for so long.

"Umm… Edward?" I began timidly.

"Yes love?" the use of the pronoun placated me. I took a deep breath and said it fast before I could change my mind, rushing my words together.

"WhatwereyoudoingwhenIwaswithJacob?" I asked afraid that I might have struck a nerve reminding him that I had left, and that he'd realize in a rage that I didn't deserve him and then he'd leave me here. That would be kinder then what I deserved if he did.

"I…was with my family. Trying to forget you… but I always had Alice watching for the day when your future would reappear." He replied, hesitantly. There was something about the way he said it, I had to ask.

"How…" I stopped myself, not sure if I wanted to know. "How were you trying to forget me?"

Silence. Slowly, he raised himself out of his stupor.

"I…I guess honesty would be better…" he mumbled, more to himself than to me. He sighed and began again. " I decided to give Tanya a chance. My breath caught. "But it didn't work out. I realized that immediately, but… it was hard to make Tanya see my point of view." He chuckled, and I noticed with shock that his words seemed to have an undercurrent of hate. "She hates me now, and I can't honestly say I don't return the feelings."

Wow. I was immensely relieved. Scared as I had been of the threat that Tanya had posed to our relationship, I couldn't deny that I was happy that there was no chance of them being together.

"Edward, I have to tell you something." I sighed. I had to get this over with. I couldn't leave it unexplained. He looked at me expectantly.

"When I left you…" I cringed mentally at his barely visible flinch. I had hurt him, bad. Maybe now we were even. "It wasn't because I didn't love you, or because I loved Jake more."

This conversation wasn't becoming any less painful. "It was because I'm a coward, and that was the easier path. The path where I didn't have to sacrifice my family and friends. The path where I could continue living peacefully, just… without you. That hurt me, being without you, but that's why I had Jake. To ease the pain a little. I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid you'd see that I didn't want to give you up, and then you wouldn't let me." I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize love. I understand. It wasn't fair of me to take you away from your family, and now you've given them two extra years." He smiled down at me and I forgot to breathe. Again.

"So… you're still going to change me?" I asked hesitantly, not sure if this was a good or bad thing.

"Of course! Unless you don't want me to." Worry lines creased his forehead.

"No, no! I do! I just didn't think you'd still want to."

"Bella, love, nothing has happened. I simply leant you to the world for a few extra years before taking you back as mine." My smile probably radiated as much as his. Then my smile fell. I asked a very important and dangerous question.

"Do we still have to get married?"

_**So this is the continuation, dedicated to **__**Searching For Topaz Eyes**__**, who requested it. Like I told them, I'm sorry it took so long, I just wasn't sure how to continue and finish it. Hope you liked it. :D**_


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